I gave to #japan and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

It usually comes in plain white, with short square sleeves, and a banded snug neckline. It is also usually printed with a bold logo stretched across its front in some horrible primary colour, or worse, a pastel.

It is the Charity T-shirt - perfunctory, ubiquitous and quite possibly the ugliest and most unflattering item in my wardrobe, (except for those beige, flared cords - shut up, Judy)

Not suprisingly, the Charity T-shirt happens to also be the least worn item in my wardrobe and somehow, regardless of its many sizes, it still manages to fit me only slightly better than a paper bag. The crazy thing? My Charity T-shirt is not alone - oh no - I have at least TEN CHARITY T-SHIRTS, each as equally ugly and unworn as the next.

The origins of my collection could quite possibly be traced to a crazed night at the Vagina Monologues when I got carried away and insisted my newly-purchased "I heart Vagina" t-shirt would be my favorite protest shirt when disillusioned with my three boys at home. My teenager was predictably disgusted but even I couldn't bring myself to wear it in the end. Not even to bed. Bed, by the way, being the place where all my Charity T-shirts go to die.

I realize that my I-heart-vagina shirt does not strictly qualify as a Charity T-shirt, but something slipped that night, some small sliver of sense. Soon I had drawers stuffed with Cancer, MS, and Chicken Pox T-shirts.

Do not get me wrong - I LOVE CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS (except of course when you call mid-lasagna-bite). Some of my friends even belong to charitable organizations. But, please, for the love of Japan, can we lay the Charity T-shirt to rest?

There have been some decent alternative efforts out there. Thanks, Lance - the bands worked for awhile, until the kids got bored and their parents started making them wash their band-infested and increasingly sweaty lower arms. Stickers and pins, bless them, are hanging in there. But do charities truly need to spend money and to manufacture junk to thank people for donating?

Of course I understand that such items also have a promotional component, as well as sending a strong social message. Perhaps it is simply the style of the shirt that has run its course. By that I mean, the cheap style. The style that is literally a T and of no fashion use to anyone.

Japan, I am more than happy to raise and donate money for disaster relief, but I will be satisfied with a mere thank you when you get around to it. Keep the shirt.

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